Initially I felt really ambiguous about this picture because
my mind automatically went to peeping toms, which creep me out, but it’s an
older gentleman paired with a younger boy and there’s nothing sinister about
that, right? I don’t know. I’ve never had a good enough relationship with my
grandparents to understand how a shared experience like this would play out.
So I added another element by randomly selecting a feeling
out of the Emotion Thesauruses: Impatience. Which I have a lot of experience
with.
And this is where my 10 minute free-write meandered from
there:
I am a creeper. I am a peeping tom. So many times I’ve looked through the fence of life and watched someone else doing something,
being something, and I’ve thought, “Ooo! I want that!”
People old and young join me at this fence, which helps me
justify my peeping, because it’s okay if our individuality is swallowed up in
the mass and everyone’s doing it. It’s really cathartic to get swallowed up in
that unthinking mass. We ogle others and want. And want. And crave. And become
impatient for the outcome without really processing all the work it takes to
get there.
Patience is a virtue. Thus quoteth the mass. But the
difference is that patience is something that has to be shaped by the
individual, regardless of who’s toting the most up-to-date proverb. I’ve never
known a patient mob.
Mobs crush in their rush.
Patience is a really hard virtue to develop.
I know this more as a mom than I did as a…whatever I was
before. (Don’t get stuck in that loop of thought. Redirect.)
A mom. Yes. My kids ask for things and I see there is a
process to attaining that thing but they must have milk NOW! They don’t even
begin to understand the process, and how many individuals are involved in that work.
Which all means something, I’m sure, but in this moment all
I hear is crying and so I putter off without anything being resolved. Or
perhaps it is? I’m not impatient to find out.