Tuesday, April 17, 2012

This is Me

(thanks to Lazy W for round-about getting me to this) link to original here

This is me. Minus the facial hair, that is, but the crazied look? Me to a T.

I'm that way about Nutella, about my kiddos and Hubs, about coffee, about Chaco sandals and Tribal Style earrings. And about blogging.

*Sigh*

I've been putting more of my energy into blogging, lately, than I have into my noveling, and I don't like it. Not one bit. It's causing me a huge amount of anxiety, honestly, which isn't great since I have such a fondness for Nutella. Stress? Input Nutella. More stress due to the amount of Nutella input?

*Sigh*

My usual mode of operation is to do away with something if it's causing me stress or too much grief. This is not the healthiest of reactions, I know, but a viable option for survival.

Do away with my blog, though?

Uh. Not likely.

Do away with my novel, then?

Uh. No way, man.

Do away with the children, then. Family, obligations of keeping up the house, etc.

Ha! Really? Not even an option.

How do people out there seriously balance everything they want to do? Thoughts? Suggestions? Crazy-but-hear-me-out comments?


**Update: So many awesome answers. Deeply and sincerely, thank you! Also, here's a link from Terri Windling who suggests a bit of time to allow yourself to do the things you want to do, not just the things people expect you to do. She calls it, "living unplugged." An excellent post.

Moment of Magic today:

Checking in with some of my favorite bloggers today, found this bit from Amanda Hocking and I'm outright stealing the video idea/research from her, but you should definitely go read what she says. It makes me happy in all sorts of it's-okay-to-be-human ways. It'll explain the video better than I can, if nothing else. Much thanks to her :) 





24 comments:

  1. Thank goodness I don't have everything to do, so I have less to balance. But. Try scheduling things. (schedule your kids? wha?)

    I happen to think that doing away with something that isn't serving you well *is* the healthiest option, whenever that is a viable one. If you're not looking to do away with your blog or your novel, maybe Monday is blog day and Tuesday is novel day, or something like that.

    Maybe mornings are one and afternoons are the other. Maybe you can train your kids to do housework so the adults in the house can do other things. ;-)

    I know of several writers/bloggers who refuse to work on weekends. That's their family/kid time. Realizing you may not be able to "put off" your kids until the weekend, it might help if they know you won't be working on either writing project those days.

    I wish you the best and truly believe that things will fall into place, just as they're supposed to. Take a few minutes each day to truly listen to your heart and you'll hear the answers loud and clear.

    (sorta related: I also love my Chacos and my Keens. Yay! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Excellent advice. I've tried the scheduling thing a little bit (I think it's a good thing to schedule kids to some extent because it helps them know what's happening next...this is how I can still get me 2-and-a-half-year-old to take naps when lots of people around me are struggling with that), but haven't really stuck to it. Which is probably why it hasn't worked for me the way I wanted it to, thus far.

      I'm nodding my head and thinking, "Yes. Very good thoughts. I need to think on it."

      Thank you.

      Delete
  2. I haven't graduated to noveling...

    Just got to write the short stuff though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I find that noveling is hard to do in big chunks. Even books are written as a bunch of short things strung together. You've probably written a book, and just don't know it yet :)

      Delete
  3. I think it'll all get better come May. That's what I'm going with.

    Oh, and Nutella?!?!?! Holy crapanoly, I've only recently discovered the stuff (my two-year-old grandson turned me on to it) but I may never be the same. Stretch pants are cute, right?

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    Replies
    1. Ha! Everything is better in May, isn't it :) I'll go with that too.

      And stretch pants? This was oh so perfect...the perfect comment. I can't stop laughing, which starts my day of that much more perfectly. Big thanks for that.

      Delete
  4. you don't need facial hair when you have Nutella.
    So glad to read this post. When I started blogging I was so in love with it I could have blogged all day and it seemed easy. I don't know why it becomes stressful. Unless it has something to do with why we blog and maybe it helps to get our goal sorted. The less I blog the more difficult it seems - which sort of makes sense. Keeping up with followed blogs is hard and we really like to give people the support we like to get.
    I've found what works well for me (but I don't always do it) is post first, read after. If I read first I never get a post done. Also keeping replies short and sweet helps ha!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Exactly, to everything you say. Yes, and yes.

      Great suggestions on posting first and then reading. Kind of like eating your veggies first and then getting dessert, eh? I love it. Cause you're right, when I read first I end up being on for sooo much longer than I'd initially planned.

      And you're right, keeping replies short helps...oh. Heh.

      Delete
  5. Here is my advice: You cannot give up your children, your husband, your novel or your blog. The only option left is to time manage and prioritize. Cleaning the house is not a must everyday--it is not even a must every week. You have two small children that you are trying to balance you do not need to be Sally Does-It-All. Both my parents worked (sometimes multiple jobs) so we grew up in a messy house. Not dirty, just messy. I agree with the M half's advice of certain days (or certain times of day) being for certain things. Is there any little friends close by who might have a play-date with Alpha? Does the teenager down the street mind watching Beta (in your house) while you just get some things done? You are always a mother and a wife and a novelist and a blogger; sometimes you need to be all 4 and sometimes you just need to be dbstevens the warrior.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great thoughts, DR. There are friends and family, and I've tried in the past to schedule time in for me to write where they can help, but I've stopped doing that as much. Mostly because I feel bad always asking for help. "Always" being subjective, of course. I think the thing is I'm just not sure how much is too much, and I think I have to be this perfect mother who takes care of her children all the time, perfectly. But you're right in so many ways. I just need to think about it some more, because it is helpful when I have that little extra time to focus.

      Delete
  6. As a writer who is also trying to juggle blog/novel/family, I completely understand. I'm trying to schedule, but I suck at it. I do give myself time each day for reading blogs and try to set aside time to write. (When my husband isn't home. He likes to watch over my shoulder. grr.) My housework definitely suffers.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I think I've got to do the daily thing, yes. Otherwise I'm too curious about what's going on out there in the blogosphere and break my self-imposed schedule.

      And I agree, that I want to read and comment on other peoples' stuff. That is a huge part of the fun, I think.

      It's all a process of learning, eh?

      Delete
  7. Agree, agree, agree with everything above. Being mother/wife/Blogger/novelist makes you who you are. Giving one up would be like cutting a limb off, and if your luck is like mine it would be your writing arm!

    I won't profess to know the answers, you know from my blog I have been having similar problems of late and have opted to attempt scheduling. Me time fits into the week next to football practice etc...

    I saw a cute little sign in a gift shop today: sticky floors and a messy house but happy children! I would like to add happy us too!

    If our kids are happy and we are, because we find time to write, who cares if the hoovering is done!

    Ps thanks for the above tip to writw first then read, must try that one.

    Pps huge nuttela fan; on toast, on croissants, on.........

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Haha! Your writing arm...so true, for me as well! I love the sign, and love that you shared it. Now I get to share in the joy too -- I'm imagining it hanging in a shop window and everything.

      Thanks for the thoughts, Sleepy Joe.

      Delete
  8. I own a ton of Tribal Style jewelry and they are all AWESOME. Also, I have no input on how to deal with prioritizing anything because I'm still learning this myself. On the plus side, we are watching "West Side Story" in English 9 right now, and my students just burst out laughing to the lyrics in the song "America." What a great teacher I am-- introducing my students to classic film!! Go me! :)

    Also, Nutella IS delicious-- and the Dutch have a counterpart to Nutella, called 'De Ruyter' sprinkles (basically chocolate sprinkles) that you put on toasted bread (my family calls them 'pummies'-- I'm not sure why, some sort of play on the Dutch word or something). They're so freaking good and probably just as bad for you. I mean, how good for you can chocolate sprinkles on toast be? So... in case you're looking for yet another vice... ha ha just kidding!

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    1. Hey You! I've been noticing with much joy that you are blogging again. Much joy, did I say that already? Your posts make me want to follow along with what you and your students are doing so I can feel like my brain isn't turning to mush. It can at least slow down the mushing process, anyway, right?

      And I'm not going to find me some pummies, not going to find me some pummies, not going to...

      Delete
  9. As is evidenced by how late I am to this discussion, time management is an issue for me, as well. I have zero practical answers, but oh-so-much empathy.

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    1. Ha! Classic, right? Could not have planned it better if you'd tried. Thanks for the empathy, Masked Mom. Many thanks and happy thoughts.

      Delete
  10. I am so glad to be so very late to this discussion so that I can benefit from the wisdom of your readers. I find myself resenting my blog sometimes because of all that it entails and it takes me away from my real writing. It gives me a false sense of completion sometimes. "Look, I wrote today! I have a blog post!" when I know that I didn't accomplish what I set out to do writing-wise. I think this is a scheduling difficulty that requires a new notebook for scheduling and planning and possibly some different colored pens.
    And Masked Mom is very, very funny.

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    1. Different colored pens always help, I agree completely.

      Delete
  11. I'm having this same issue and reading this and then the comments have got me thinking. I may not have kids but I've got 3 non-husbands, a cat, a podcast, a blog, a book and a job.

    And I love all of them! But wow. I'm tired.

    ReplyDelete

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