Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas You

These are three videos that bring Christmas home to me. Multiple memories attached to each. Lovely. I hope they add to your holiday cheer too, whatever that means to you.

A little something from White Christmas:

 A little something from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas:

Last but not least, a little something from A Charlie Brown Christmas:

Do you have any favorite Christmas movies and/or memories? What little details are your jewels this year? The taste of a buttered roll, the blinking lights on hooked on the ceiling, maybe something a relative said? Maybe even something a stranger said? Perhaps it was the crackle of the  fire, or the tapping of the rain...

I hope no matter what, this year was memorable and beautiful, in its own ways. Happy safe holidays, and I'll see you next year. 


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

1 + 1 = 11

Dear Sleepy Joe (and friends),

I was really going to just not come up with the other ten things and hope you wouldn't notice, but of course you would do something like this.

Thank you, because I needed that.

So here you are: 

1. One of the strongest memories (read: ‘visuals’ because the context is unclear so I’m not sure if that really classifies as a ‘memory’) I have from my pre-age-10 youth is of my older brother putting a bug into an empty peanut butter jar. I don’t remember what kind of bug it was, but this was significant to me because A) I felt sorry for the bug – somehow I felt like I understood the sacrifice of space and freedom it was giving up by no choice of its own; and B) It was in a peanut butter jar – for a very short period my mother put a ban on peanut butter because we would go through it so fast, and ever since peanut butter has become akin to manna for me. Sacred, perfect, hits the spot every time. The contrast of a bug in a holy jar…it was (and still is, obviously?) mind blowing.
link to original here

2. I deeply crave this anthology. Norton Anthologies generally rock my socks, so to have one for children’s lit? My heart hurts to think about it. Someday when we have more money than we do now, I will buy this book. I may be 50+ by then, but maybe I can read it to my grandchildren, eh?

3. When I was, oh, 13-ish? Give or take a few years? A distant relative at a funeral suggested I get into step aerobics to lose my baby fat. It wasn’t unusual for people to comment about my chub (even though in retrospect I don’t think I was even that chubby) ever since I can remember, so commonly I took it with a grain of salt, but the fact that someone would bring it up at a funeral really got my goat. I unconsciously resolved from that moment on to stay slightly over-weight for the rest of my life. To live a full, happy, healthy life regardless of my shape/size. I still have issues from time to time about what I look like compared to others, but I try to remind myself of that funeral, and how life is about far more than just image.

Me around age 13
4. I store a lot of my tension between my shoulder blades. I’ve always got a knot there, regardless of how much I kneed, stretch, or try to relax those muscles. But meh. I can think of worse places to hang on to tension.

5. Deadlines are key for me to get things done. If someone tells me there’s no rush, I take that at face value and don’t rush. A month, two months, six months later…oh, that’s right. Maybe I should get around to that.

6. I laughed during the push-part of Beta’s labor. My midwife looked at me with a stern face and told me to be serious. The thing was, up until that point I had been freaking out because Alpha’s labor was over-the-top horrible. So my laughter was a release. It was my moment of recognition that things were going to be okay this time around.  

7. We have a ship hanging from our ceiling. The boys love it. Hubs loves it. I love it.

Our sky ship
8. I almost majored in Art/Illustration instead of English/Literature and I very much wonder what my life would be like if I’d gone down that path instead. I’m very happy with the place I’m in, in this moment, but I still wonder.

9. It’s a blue moon when I hear this song now, and usually in really random places, but every time I do it still brings a lump to my throat. I played the viola in the Boise Youth Philharmonic for just one season and the Jurassic Park Theme was one of the songs we played. It may not be all that thrilling to listen to? I don’t know. But it was thrilling to play.

 10. And two for the price of one: when I first met Hubs he had these big bushy chops that came down nearly to his chin I absolutely adored; momo’s are one of my top three favorite foods and coincidentally I had them for dinner the night I met Hubs. This seems important for some reason I can’t put my finger on.

There now, I've spilled a bunch of beans. Your turn -- tell me something about yourself in the comments that I probably don't know. Some detail about your youth, your love, the way you see yourself, something you're embarrassed about or proud of...these are just suggestions.

The magic is in the details, right?

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Lack Luster Liebster

I apologize in advance for the blah-flavor of today's post. I'm going to send you here to find out the details because I feel less than great today (read: lazy and sick and tired of being tired, in no specific order) but I’m very grateful to Sleepy Joe for the nomination. She makes my heart feel lighter than it was before and any lack of luster has completely to do with me and nothing to do with her. So.

Here are answers to her questions:

 1. Do you believe in soul-mates and why, even if the answer is no?

I used to think the idea of soul-mates meant that you fit perfectly together, that you’d never argue, you’d know exactly what the other was thinking before they even opened their mouth. That sort of thing. I don’t believe in that kind of soul-mate anymore. I do believe in having the kind of mate your soul is comfortable with regardless of whether or not you argue, regardless of whether or not all your nooks and crannies fit. I don’t think that kind of comfort is easy to find, so if there are only one or two of those people out there in the world per person, that makes sense to me.

link to original here
2. Sunset photo or nighttime shot?

I love the colors in sunset shots, but I love even more the depth and dark and stark contrast of light from stars you can find in nighttime shots. Especially the ones that are really well done.

3. Fleecy PJ's, Onesie or shorts?

I’m pretty sure I’m misunderstanding this question, but here are my thoughts on each anyway. Fleecy PJ’s are soft and lovely, but they’re often too snug in all the wrong places. I don’t like sleeping with layers (though in contrast I’ve always got to have some sort of blanket). Onesies I love, but more so on Beta than on me. His chunky legs are cute. Mine, not so much.  Shorts? I prefer pants or long flowy skirts.

4. Where do you head or to whom do you go if you are in need of inspiration?

A quiet place, then I find my knees.

5. What song best captures you or your life, either in general or in this moment?

Ooph. This is a hard one. I’m going to go with this:


6. What one thing would you have in your life if there were no monetary, moral or other limitations?

I keep leaving this blank and then coming back to it, but every time I hit a mental wall. Financial security, maybe? Or if money is not a limit, security in general. I feel like I'm always deeply afraid of something or other that's completely out of my control.

7. What is your dream job?

I’m living it. Minus the published author bit, but that’ll come someday hopefully.

8. What is your Christmas Eve tradition?

Soup in bread bowls for dinner, lighting the fire and singing carols with family, snacking on nuts and cookies while chatting way too late into the evening. Sometimes we go to Midnight Mass even though we’re not Catholic.

9. Do tablets (ie. ipads) make you feel like you are living in a Sci-fi movie?

Now that you mention it…

10. What musical instrument would you play if you could? Or would you sing instead?

And now I’ve just lost two hours watching beatbox videos because that’s singing and playing all in one bag. Plus duh, it’s hugely amazing. I can’t see myself opening that bag up and using it in this life, but maybe my next?

11. Candle light or the big light (sorry Northern reference to the main ceiling light in a room)?

Depends on the circumstances, but I’m probably always going to default for candle light. Everything seems softer and I very much like soft.

Now eleven facts about me:
1. When I see three or more people walking shoulder-to-shoulder in real life I automatically think, "Action flick..." and I kind-of expect whatever's behind them to explode.

Other than that, I'm having a hard time coming up with facts that are interesting. Maybe we'll incorporate the rest next week?

And then eleven questions for people who'd like to answer one, two, a few, or all of them:

1. What's a quote you either very much agree or disagree with? Why?

2. Do you like kids? Why or why not?

3. What's your favorite part of the winter holiday season? Why?

4. What are your thoughts about the goddess Bast?

5. Did/do you have a favorite childhood cartoon? Why or why not?

6. What does this bring to mind: "Double the pleasure, double the fun..."?

7. Do you prefer to drink your favorite beverage from a bottle or glass?

8. What is a memory you have where a kite was somehow involved?

9. Do you get moody when you're hungry?

10. What are five small-ish objects closest to you?

11. What is a random detail that sticks out in your mind about a significant event in your life? (ex: The variegated light from the street lamp on the gravel road when she broke my heart)  

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Lest I Wax

Lest I wax poetic on over-using syrup and warning strangers about cracked eggs, let me simplify and give you three more bitties from my handbag of originals:

link to original here


To burn in my own emotions.

To feel the heat on my face.

To writhe in the flames of regret,
of sorrow,
of shame.

To put out the anger with tears,
except enough water to work would take years.

To feed on the air of quickened breath.

To yearn instead for death.

Sometimes my sins eat me.

My flesh incinerates.


Learning the Tricks

Point one: Accepting the bad things when you know there will be good things to come after.

Point two: Knowing when it's okay to make a face that correlates to how you feel about what's going on.

Point three: Knowing when to keep your face straight.

Always Possible

This is how I see my breath,
how I know it's there.

But it's always there --
even when I don't know it,
don't see it.
I am often thoughtless.
I am always thoughtless.
I am sometimes thoughtful.
My body works without me knowing.
This world works without me knowing.
What else works?

What else is there?
The possibilities are like my breath.


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